In the Comfort of Home
by Georgiaish
Summary: Janeway rethinks her relationship with Chakotay after the events of Workforce. Basically a J/C Workforce fixer!


It had been a long week on Voyager, with the crew getting back into their old routines and getting used to being Starfleet officers after their fortnight working in a power plant. Stories of their time on Quarra soon became a form of entertainment and conversation to the crew and morale on Voyager was at a rare height, but one member of the crew was restless.

Captain Janeway sat alone in her ready room, rereading the same line of Tuvok's tactical report several times, the gentle hum of Voyager's engines failing to relax her as they had done in the past. Her mind felt foggy, the Doctor had said it was normal, that her memories would all return but some patches were to be expected. But she could remember everything; growing up in Indiana, the death of her father and first fiancé, graduating the academy_, everything_ up to the point she was now in; sitting alone in her ready room, right hand massaging her temple, left hand holding up a PADD.

The door chimed and praying inwardly that the person on the other side of the door wasn't B'elanna with the engineering report she'd promised, Janeway cleared her throat and placed Tuvok's tactical report on her desk.

"Come in."

To her relief and slight apprehension, the doors opened and Chakotay's broad form entered. He walked in quickly as though rushed and Janeway noticed that he didn't meet her gaze as he usually did, instead keeping his eyes fixed on the padd in his hand, and she felt a familiar wave of emptiness settle itself in her chest, though she wasn't sure why.

He stopped in front of her desk and Janeway could see how tired he looked, how the events of the past few weeks had taken its toll. His eyes were rimmed with dark circles underneath and a thin layer of stubble had set itself on his chin and cheeks. When he spoke though, he sounded every part the perfect Starfleet Officer; clear and confident, with no underlying emotion. "I was just down in engineering and B'elanna wanted me to give you this, Captain. It's her engineering report."

She sighed, "Add it to the pile."

He looked up from the padd out of respect more than anything, Janeway decided, and she could see an unfamiliar glaze in her first officer's eyes, as though something was missing when he looked at her. Making a mental note to ask him about it later, Janeway looked down to her desk and picked up Tuvok's tactical report, forcing herself to look interested, and waited for Chakotay to dismiss himself.

"Do you want me to read through it for you? I'm going off duty and it looks like you've got enough on your plate without another report." His tone was normal, friendly, _familiar._ Was she imagining Chakotay's vacancy? She supposed she could be; The Doctor had said slight paranoia was possible whilst her memories were reinstating themselves in her mind. Though she could definitely see _something _was missing from his eyes that had always been there when he looked at her, and something had replaced it. Betrayal? That she'd broken some unspoken vow they'd made five years earlier on an uninhabited class-M planet in the heart of the Delta Quadrant?

"Thank you. I don't know what's wrong with me; I can't seem to concentrate on anything." She indicated to the PADD now facing downwards on her desk. "As interesting as Tuvok's tactical report is."

He chuckled and gave her a wide smile, flashing his dimples.

"That's understandable; you've been through quite an experience these past few weeks. To have your memories tampered with and to believe you were practically a different person… it's traumatic."

"Mm. I admit, a part of me could quite easily have stayed on that planet, working at the power plant, not being responsible for anyone other than myself…" she trailed off, lifting one hand to cover her face, the other instinctively reached for her lukewarm coffee.

"You miss Jaffen." She looked up from her coffee at the sharp tone in his voice and saw his jaw was set and his eyes downcast at the PADD in his hands although they were fixed, not reading.

"I suppose. But I miss the simplicity of it all; the routine. Getting up in the morning and walking to work, having drinks with friends afterwards… having friends that weren't your subordinates. Simple things, Chakotay, simple things." She sighed as a flood of memories washed through her mind; distancing herself from the crew on the holodeck, shunning invitations of dinner from Chakotay.

"I know how you feel. I've experienced similar feelings when we've been on shore leave; it'd be so easy to stay, duty be damned. But we've made _Voyager _our home and there's nowhere I' rather be."

"It almost felt like home, Chakotay." She murmured and Chakotay could tell by her vacant expression that she was thinking once more of Jaffen. She picked up her coffee cup once more, stood from her chair and indicated for Chakotay to follow her over to the couch.

He followed her readily, "I know I asked you on the bridge but was your answer true? Do you regret that I came back for you, really? You had the opportunity to have the life you've been deprived of for years… with a man you at least liked."

She considered her answer. Of course she had _liked _him, maybe even gotten to the point where she was falling in love with him. It had certainly felt real, felt like love but once she had been returned to _Voyager, _her beloved ship, had those feelings changed? No. They were still there, although as more memories resurfaced, she felt the love being pushed into the back of her mind to the point where she was almost an onlooker to her own feelings; not being allowed to indulge herself in the thought, the feeling of love. Yes, perhaps she had loved him, but briefly. The face she thought of when she was alone no longer consisted of foreign ridges and grey eyes but of deep dimples and bronzed skin, tattooed teal over the eyebrow.

"Oh, of course I liked him; He was charming, handsome, but there was one thing he wasn't."

"Polite?" He smiled, trying to make her more comfortable, sensing her unease, and she smiled back, the comfort of his arm draped over the back of the couch at arm's length, giving her the confidence she seldom lacked.

"Yes, that as well." Her voice wavered, and dropped to the husky tone he so rarely heard her speak.

"He wasn't you, Chakotay." Her voice was thick with emotion and the sincerity in her eyes knocked the wind out of his chest.

"I don't want you to think the feelings I have for you are new or fleeting or were bought on by Jaffen, because they weren't. They aren't. I've carried them with me for years, retelling myself the story of an ancient warrior when the times were the hardest. You were the first thing I remembered, Chakotay, down on that planet. We were sat in Jaffen's apartment and he asked me if I was comfortable with him. Then… I saw you, Chakotay. Only for a second, but it was definitely you. And I felt you too, felt the love fill the emptiness it'd left in my heart when my memories were altered. As I touched your face, it changed back to him and your tattoo vanished from under my fingers."

They were quiet for some time. Chakotay, because he was trying to digest and comprehend Kathryn's words and Kathryn because she was waiting for him to speak, dread settling itself in her chest.

"I have to admit, I didn't think you felt the same way anymore." He whispered, voice course with emotion and he searched her eyes for any indication that what she was saying was false but all he saw was brightness, freed from the limitations of command.

"Always, Chakotay."

His arms wrapped around her body, pulling her close, and Kathryn rested her head against Chakotay's shoulder. Their hands laced together, resting against Chakotay's chest.

She had never felt more comfortable in her whole life.

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